I was meeting my old friend over a glass of wine &
dinner, both of us talkative Maharashtrians married to a rather silent species
of men belonging to South of India.
“There is just no conversation! how is it
that I have 30 minute worth of stories to tell from my day at work & all he
says is ‘As Usual’ ?” inquired my friend, I smiled & told her wait till you
hear the other 2 standard responses you will encounter most of the times
1. I Don’t Know
2. Nothing
& of course third being ‘As Usual’.
These are the same men who would take us out for dinner
dates & have a decent conversation & go out of their way to make us
feel loved & cared. The usual routine..well.. till you get married !
The “Men” species is further
sub-divided into ‘Pre-Marriage’ & ‘Post-Marriage’ categories. Their
behaviour remains consistent with ‘Their’ Friends only. It’s a story I have
heard from almost all my married girl friends, and mind you irrespective of it
being a Love or an Arranged Marriage !!
All the over-expressive Lovers are unfortunately (or fortunately?) only
in the movies ! Bollywood has really spoilt us I tell you ! A lot of men think
they are ‘man’ enough if they do not express their feelings, it’s often
considered as a girly thing to do. The funniest & the most annoying usage of
‘I Don’t Know’ is when they are asked a question about themselves ! How on
earth is it possible to not know one’s own feelings is beyond my understanding
capabilities !
They say husbands are the lesser complicated species –
apparently talking & expressing lesser loosely translates into less
complicated ! I would probably give in to the talks of husbands being more chilled
out & relaxed, they are, they truly are !! From taking a whole cool month
to fix a door bell to not having opened & unpacked their belongings for
months they are extremely chilled & do not worry about these minor things
to be done & taken care of !
But then not all of them are the same, you will find extreme
cases where they attend to a water tap issue at home more seriously than a
billion dollar client or the ones who would not disturb their chai sessions in
office from a frantically calling wife ! These less complicated species are
actually pretty tough to figure out ! Every time you discuss a problem ( it has
to be discuss, NOT argue ) they give you the acknowledging nod of not repeating
the things that cause the problem, however you will find yourself in the same
spot within a few days leaving you wondering what did that Nod ACTUALLY mean?
It probably means 'ok lets end the discussion & I am not paying attention to
what you are saying cause I am bored' ! ;)
Although wife bashing jokes are more popular & agreed we
aren’t very easy to deal with, I strongly feel this is way too disproportionate!
Husbands are equally annoying & difficult ( I am not saying we are less :P
) And then they expect you to adjust with their nature, after changing your
house, your eating habits, sometimes language & of course surnames we have
to adapt to the behavioural changes too ! It’s fine really, ONLY if it works
both ways :)
Even though the post marriage species give us a heap load of
gossip material for our girl gang meetins, they are also the ones who will
stand up for you & be with you no matter what !
Here’s to the BF v2.0 aka Husbands, you annoy the hell out
of us but there is no way we could do without you ! Cheers !
P.S. I am not generalizing the husbands, you may have
encountered different attributes but hey we all get our end of the deal to deal
with :)
- - Purva
