The Curious Case of Husbands

I was meeting my old friend over a glass of wine & dinner, both of us talkative Maharashtrians married to a rather silent species of men belonging to South of India. 

“There is just no conversation! how is it that I have 30 minute worth of stories to tell from my day at work & all he says is ‘As Usual’ ?” inquired my friend, I smiled & told her wait till you hear the other 2 standard responses you will encounter most of the times

1. I Don’t Know

2. Nothing

& of course third being ‘As Usual’.

These are the same men who would take us out for dinner dates & have a decent conversation & go out of their way to make us feel loved & cared. The usual routine..well.. till you get married !

 The “Men” species is further sub-divided into ‘Pre-Marriage’ & ‘Post-Marriage’ categories. Their behaviour remains consistent with ‘Their’ Friends only. It’s a story I have heard from almost all my married girl friends, and mind you irrespective of it being a Love or an Arranged Marriage !!  All the over-expressive Lovers are unfortunately (or fortunately?) only in the movies ! Bollywood has really spoilt us I tell you ! A lot of men think they are ‘man’ enough if they do not express their feelings, it’s often considered as a girly thing to do. The funniest & the most annoying usage of ‘I Don’t Know’ is when they are asked a question about themselves ! How on earth is it possible to not know one’s own feelings is beyond my understanding capabilities !

They say husbands are the lesser complicated species – apparently talking & expressing lesser loosely translates into less complicated ! I would probably give in to the talks of husbands being more chilled out & relaxed, they are, they truly are !! From taking a whole cool month to fix a door bell to not having opened & unpacked their belongings for months they are extremely chilled & do not worry about these minor things to be done & taken care of !

But then not all of them are the same, you will find extreme cases where they attend to a water tap issue at home more seriously than a billion dollar client or the ones who would not disturb their chai sessions in office from a frantically calling wife ! These less complicated species are actually pretty tough to figure out ! Every time you discuss a problem ( it has to be discuss, NOT argue ) they give you the acknowledging nod of not repeating the things that cause the problem, however you will find yourself in the same spot within a few days leaving you wondering what did that Nod ACTUALLY mean? It probably means 'ok lets end the discussion & I am not paying attention to what you are saying cause I am bored' ! ;)

Although wife bashing jokes are more popular & agreed we aren’t very easy to deal with, I strongly feel this is way too disproportionate! Husbands are equally annoying & difficult ( I am not saying we are less :P ) And then they expect you to adjust with their nature, after changing your house, your eating habits, sometimes language & of course surnames we have to adapt to the behavioural changes too ! It’s fine really, ONLY if it works both ways :)

Even though the post marriage species give us a heap load of gossip material for our girl gang meetins, they are also the ones who will stand up for you & be with you no matter what !

Here’s to the BF v2.0 aka Husbands, you annoy the hell out of us but there is no way we could do without you ! Cheers !

P.S. I am not generalizing the husbands, you may have encountered different attributes but hey we all get our end of the deal to deal with :)

-  - Purva

      @purvs3